A Godfather's Love
by Recode
Summary: Angst galore, bittersweet. Harry found Sirius' pensieve. R&R plz~
1. Act 1: Pensive

Tittle: "A Godfather's Love"  
  
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all the characters aren't mine. Also, the song used in this humble fanfic is originally from Atlus' Musical RPG, Rhapsody.  
  
A/N:Please check out my Sirius Fiction Log @ http://www.sirius-star.net for Sirius' diary various writers are working on. Thanx for reading this! FYI, this story will have a sequel :-) Yay!  
  
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Tic...  
  
Toc...  
  
Tic...  
  
Toc...  
  
Another two weeks, Harry would be starting his sixth year at Hogwarts. Remus Lupin and Mad Eye Moody had fetched him from the Dursley a day earlier. Harry had insisted on spending his time in Grimmauld Place until the end of summer holidays. It was midnight. Harry wandered through the big house when most people were asleep. He tried very hard to close his minds on the world but sleep just wouldn't come. So, he decided to walk around until he feels sleepy, or at least tired. He wandered aimlessly upstairs until he reached a dark and lonely room. Harry's face darkened upon seein the door. It had been Sirius room; the room he wanted badly to go in yet afraid to at the same time. Hands trembling, he turned the doorknob and stepped inside.  
  
It was so dark that he coud hardly see anything. Lucky him for bringing his wand along. "Lumos", he mouthed and the room was filled with a magical light. Since the room had a fireplace, Harry decided to light the fire so that the room would be brighter. Hee looked around and smiled sadly. The room was still neat, but a bit dusty. He felt a strong wave of sadness washed throughout his body as he remembered just a few months ago, his Godfather was sleeping in this very room. Just a few months ago, the man he thought of as a mixture of Father and Brother was singing merrily as the Christmas was approaching.   
  
Sorrow...  
  
Guilt...  
  
Anger...  
  
All feelings and emotions became one. Harry still had a lot to talk about with Sirius. He still had a lot of things he would like to do with him. Sirius had asked him if he wanted to live with him once he's cleared. Only now that it would never come true. NEVER! Harry held back the urge to cry. Remus had told him that Sirius wouldn't want him to cry over his death but he was finding it difficult to not cry. Very difficult because the moment Sirius fell through the veil was still playing over and over again in his mind everytime he closes his eyes. How bitterly ironic...  
  
Suddenly, something on the bed caught Harry's attention. When Harry took it, he realised that it was a Pensieve. Sirius' pensieve, to be exact. Closing his eyes for a while, Harry opened them just to find himself standing before a something that happened fifteen years ago. The room vanished, bringing Harry to a place he didn't remember. "SERIOUSLY? YOU AREN'T KIDDING???" Harry heard a familiar voice and turned around. His eyes widened upon seeing the two people in front of him. It was Sirius and his father, James Potter. Sirius looked excited and happy; Harry wondered why.  
  
Suddenly, the door to his left creaked opened and a beautiful red-haired woman with green eyes entered, carrying a small bundle in her arms. It was, of course, Harry's mother. Harry new at once who the baby was; HIM! Sirius immediately lightened up and practically jumped joyfully like a little boy. "Here he comes, my godson! Lily, can I hold him? PLEASE!!" "Of course you can. Harry, meet your Godfather, dear." Lily handed baby Harry to Sirius' eager arms. H brightened even more as he held the baby in his arms. "Oh my God, he looks like you, James..Oh look! He has Lil's eyes too! And he's my Godson! Wow!" He kissed the giggling baby several times in delight while Lily and James laughed heartily. The present Harry was rendered speechless. He dropped to his knees, eyes wide. Tears was streaming down his cheeks continuously. There's absolutely no way to stop the tears anymore..  
  
He never knew how happy Sirius was to be named his Godfather. Dumbledore's words rang inside his mind, "...like the fact that the person Sirius cared about most in the world was you...". He remembered Ron's words, "He must really like you, Harry... Imagine, living off rats..."  
  
The scene suddenly changed. Harry was standing before a wreckage of a house. Something hit him hard. This must be his house after Voldemort murdered his parents. He heard someone sobbing. There, on the heap of the rubble, young Sirius Black was down on his knees, weeping. Sirius was hugging James' corpse close to his chest as he wept uncontrollably. Then he saw Hagrid approahed and consoled Sirius. Little Harry was crying. For a moment, Sirius asked to hold Harry before Hagrid take him to Dumblesore. Hagrid refused but gave in at last, after Sirius convinced him that he just wanted to stop Harry from continuing his cry. Our older Harry was sobbing now as he watched Sirius lulled him to sleep...  
  
You're my angel  
  
you are my everything  
  
you mean more than anything  
  
when I see your smile so lovely and bright  
  
Makes the world seem right  
  
At times you can act  
  
like such a little boy  
  
but in my eyes, you are the world  
  
I wish you health  
  
and happiness for all time  
  
and may the world be kind  
  
Whenever you are feeling down  
  
Whenever you are feeling blue  
  
All you have to do  
  
is sing this song  
  
Remember I'll be watching over you  
  
Please grow up  
  
with hope in your heart  
  
I will always be with you  
  
Please go on  
  
with a dream in your heart  
  
I will always be with you  
  
Screaming in agony, Harry knocked the pensieve over and the whole scene vanished. He was back in Sirius' room, crying his heart out. "SIRIUS!!!!!" He cried. He cried, and cried, unaware that a brown haired man had entered the room and was now hugging him to his chest. The man had tears in his eyes as well. Harry's state pushed him to the limits. "It's okay, Harry. Don't cry, please don't cry." As he was saying this, tears sprung to his eyes. Remus Lupin was finally in the verge of tears after a few months of holding it back. Throuhout the night, the occupants of Number 12, Grimmauld Place could hear Harry's piercing scream, full regret and agony.  
  
"S I R I U S!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Tic...  
  
Toc...  
  
Tic...  
  
Toc... 


	2. Act 2: Damn you! Come back!

**Chapter 2 :** **Damn you! Come Back!  
**A/N:** This chapter is told in Remus' POV. Actually, this is supposed to be a one-shot but I decided to bring Sirius back. I hate the fact that he died falling through the damn veil. So, I decided to add a few more chapters. Review please? Also, please have a look at my Sirius Black diary at ****. You may also join as an author!**

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   It breaks my heart to see Harry breaks down and cry like this. There's nothing I can do but to hold him close in my arms. Harry had been lacking of loving contacts since he was sent away to live with the Dursleys. Maybe I could help easing his pain…I hope.

   Damn you, Sirius!

   Damn you!!

   Why did you have to be so stupid as to taunt death? Didn't you ever stop to think what would happen to Harry if he loses you? Damn you for not thinking with the brain you're awarded with! You were always the cleverest student Hogwarts had ever seen; aside from James and Hermione. Why didn't you think twice before jumping into silly actions?! Look at what you've done! Look at this crying young man in my arms! Do you know how deep your loss cut through his heart? You gave him heaven; hopes that he still had someone to call a real family. Then you're the one who took it all away from him. Damn you, Padfoot!

   Harry had stopped sobbing now and is crying silently in my arms. I feel tears trickling down my own face now. He's so young…Yet, he has to yield more burden than any adult ever would. Could you see his eyes now, Padfoot? They scare me; too hollow. I don't recall ever seeing those vibrant emeralds this dark before. When he howls your name, they darken even more. It's so painful to see him like this. I just wish I could take all the pain away.

   What can I do to restore the eyes to their former elegance, Padfoot?

   Harry sniffs and wipes his wet eyes with his right sleeve. "Remus?" He speaks.

   "Yes, Harry?" I answer back.

   "Why do I have to always fall out of love? First my parents and now…" He stops. I could see more tears flowing down his pale cheeks. "Why does Sirius have to be taken away from me? It's just not fair! It's not bloody fair!!" I hold him closer to me and run my hand through his jet black hair. "Life's never fair, Harry." I could feel Harry nodding in agreement with me. All words come to a stop for a few minutes. I decide not to say anything and just try to stop his tears. From where Harry and I sit, I could see the old pensive; Sirius' pensive. It must have been very painful for Harry. In a pensive, we are invisible. Harry's must have tried to touch Sirius in the pensive and realised that he couldn't. Poor little guy…

   "You won't leave me too, would you?"

   God, Harry's asking me a hard question… The answer is simple; either 'yes' or 'no' but it seems like my words are stuck in my throat. I don't want to make an empty promise but I don't want to break his heart either. Taking a deep breath, I clear my throat.

   "Harry, you are the closest person I have to a son. You're like a son I never had, and could never have. We're in a war and I can't promise you that my life could never be taken away. I can't promise I'd never leave but I can promise you that I'll always come back to you. Do you understand that?" Tears are shining in my eyes. Yes, those words seem right. Sirius would tell Harry the same, if given the chance… Right, Sirius?

   Harry nods and hugs me. I hug him back. He starts to cry again. Damn you, Padfoot! Damn you! I hate you for leaving Harry when he just found you! I hate you for making him so miserable! We love you, Padfoot. Damn you for leaving us! Who the hell created the veil, anyway? How could an archway takes lives away from humans? Who in their right mind would create such an evil chamber? 

…

…

…

   Did the veil really rips you away from you life, Sirius? Or…Did it transfers you to a place you don't know and you simply couldn't find the way back? Could you still be alive? Could it be that you're trying to find your way out of the veil and come back to us? Merlin, Padfoot, come back to us!

Come back to Harry!

Come back to your Godson!

He doesn't have a father. He should at least have a Godfather to shower him with love.

He needs a Godfather's love. 

Come back…

Please…

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Next chapter will bring you to our beloved Padfoot! Yay!


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